My best friend is getting married. And I am absolutely excited about it. Another friend of mine asked me today if it was a "Love Marriage or an Arranged Marriage". The couple in discussion here met through their families. They made the decision of getting married keeping their entire family in loop . So , technically it is an 'Arranged Marriage' .
I would never personally come to terms with people deciding to spend their whole lives with someone after one or two meetings. My intuition isn't that strong probably . However , I wish my friend and all those who have such marriages be blissfully happy .
Getting married is all I have always wanted . Ever since I was a little girl . Now that I am married and married for over a year now , I wonder at times if all the anticipation and excitement was worth it . We have lows in our life .We have lows in our married life . Lows in life doesn't bother us. We always bounce back . But lows in married life shakes us , the married woman , a bit . That's what got me wondering .
May be because all the stories mom told you, all the books you read , all the movies you have seen , depicted hardships in life and problems in love life. However ,most of them invariably ended with a ,' And they lived happily ever after' line. But none gave a detailed account of what happens during that ever after . All the efforts you take to make the ever after happy was probably consciously omitted.
Lots of factor contribute to how we respond to lows in our life. Lots of factor contribute to how we respond to the lows in our married life. The biggest being you are still adapting to the fact that you are not your dad's princess anymore .Being a girl friend is relatively easier. (I can vouch for that) You just concentrate on yourself ,your partner and where to go for the date . But when you are married , you are everything you have always seen your mother being . And that definitely is some hard work.
At times things seem to overwhelm . Most of my recently married friends and I have this discussion of how drastic a change marriage has been. But then only those who adapt survive , so that is the only way forward.
Determination to be happy and being happy with the one person you are married to is probably the foundation to every happy marriage. Does the trick for me always .
A revelation I had recently was that people can't get into your head !! Yep !! No one knows what you are thinking but you. The bunch of no ones includes your spouse too. So right , he doesn't know what you expect of him unless you let him know. Makes things a whole less complicated when you just tell him that you want him to help you instead of getting all frustrated about his not caring enough!!!
And needless to say sharing your frustrations with your besties goes a long way in keeping you composed.
Everyday is a new day . If something went wrong yesterday , you always have today . If today isn't enough you will have a tomorrow to fix things . Living and loving matters . Not necessary that you do it perfectly . Just give your best . Because your best is always good enough .
I would never personally come to terms with people deciding to spend their whole lives with someone after one or two meetings. My intuition isn't that strong probably . However , I wish my friend and all those who have such marriages be blissfully happy .
May be because all the stories mom told you, all the books you read , all the movies you have seen , depicted hardships in life and problems in love life. However ,most of them invariably ended with a ,' And they lived happily ever after' line. But none gave a detailed account of what happens during that ever after . All the efforts you take to make the ever after happy was probably consciously omitted.
Lots of factor contribute to how we respond to lows in our life. Lots of factor contribute to how we respond to the lows in our married life. The biggest being you are still adapting to the fact that you are not your dad's princess anymore .Being a girl friend is relatively easier. (I can vouch for that) You just concentrate on yourself ,your partner and where to go for the date . But when you are married , you are everything you have always seen your mother being . And that definitely is some hard work.
At times things seem to overwhelm . Most of my recently married friends and I have this discussion of how drastic a change marriage has been. But then only those who adapt survive , so that is the only way forward.
Determination to be happy and being happy with the one person you are married to is probably the foundation to every happy marriage. Does the trick for me always .
A revelation I had recently was that people can't get into your head !! Yep !! No one knows what you are thinking but you. The bunch of no ones includes your spouse too. So right , he doesn't know what you expect of him unless you let him know. Makes things a whole less complicated when you just tell him that you want him to help you instead of getting all frustrated about his not caring enough!!!
And needless to say sharing your frustrations with your besties goes a long way in keeping you composed.
Everyday is a new day . If something went wrong yesterday , you always have today . If today isn't enough you will have a tomorrow to fix things . Living and loving matters . Not necessary that you do it perfectly . Just give your best . Because your best is always good enough .
I really wish your friend has a look at this post, not because it s written by a friend but coz it s written by a married person and there is a lot of stuff that a newly married needs to know…
ReplyDeleteCongrats and all the best to your friend..
Thanks :)
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