If I had a second chance ..

If I had a second chance ..
If only I could take another shot at life....
If only I had this matured brains back then ....
If only I chose differently when given the chance ....
 
I keep saying these.. Almost everyday, in connection to almost every thing. But over the last few weeks, incidents, though very insignificant, forced me to give it a thought. Would I really change my life if I were given another chance ?

Few weeks ago , we went shopping for dresses . I browsed , no ,not browsed, ransacked the whole of the collections in the store and picked up two. The irony, these were dresses of pattern and designs, I owned previously (about two years ago) just in different colors. I knew how the color had run and how the dressed grew shabby after a few washes. But my heart, my stupid heart wouldn't let go what it likes. I got the same ones again !!

And then last week when we visited my husband's place, my mom in law asked if I would like to exchange the mixer grinder I have at my place with the one she had there. I spat out 'NOooooo..' . The story of me, my mixie and my mom- in- law dates back to the day when my mom- in -law first laid her eyes on the mixie I had bought. She immediately identified  it as one that would not last long. True to her word it does have break downs starting the first month of usage. But exchange it for a better one? No !! Never...

These things made me realize, that I wouldn't change my life or anything about it for anything worse or anything better. Given a second chance at life , I would make the same choices over . I took those decisions, got those things, held on to those people, let the others go because that is exactly what I wanted back then .May be it was not the best thing but still it was what I wanted . Getting another chance wouldn't change anything . Anything at all .. I am happy with my life .. Touch-wood...

So,

If I had a second chance , I would take the same decisions again.
If only I could take another shot at life, my life would hardly be any different.
If only I had this matured brains back then , I would  live this same life anyways.. .
If only I chose differently when given the chance, my life wouldn't have been this awesome..

Best Friend's Wedding

Your best friend's wedding is probably the closest thing you would have to your own wedding . So much of excitement and so very hectic at the end of the day. But every minute of the occasion is one that you would cherish through out.

I recently attended the wedding of my best friend. We had been dreaming about it ever since we got together , around eight years back . So it was one occasion to be indulged and celebrated . Needless to say , ever since I landed at the wedding venue I was constantly besides her .

The wedding went great . Guests left happy . The couple felt blessed. And the day after the wedding , my friend texted me asking 'Aren't you tired ?  I feel drained!!' .  True , I am tired , but the excitement is yet to wear off. So , I thought while in the mood I should actually write out this pointers to help people live up to their friend's expectations on her big day.

1. Be there for her . Right from the day her wedding date is set , she would need you and your constant reminders about how she must finish her shopping well ahead of the last minute , her parlor appointments , her spa treatments , her hair styling , . She just tends to forget these important things in between other things .

2. Shop with her. Both my friend and me are people who rely on our fashion sense more than that of others. But , I was surprised to see her turning to me for approval when we went shopping for accessories . May be the pressure of looking your best makes you include others' opinions in your selections. So , do it earnestly. Help her out. She is more confused now than she has ever been in her life. Help her try the stuff and get that which looks the prettiest on her .

3.Get her try the dresses much in advance . We had a blooper at this one. And a huge blooper I must say. I just couldn't get her try her dresses until it was very late. And when things can go wrong , they will go wrong !! So did the fit. It was one scary situation when you have a bad fit and very little time to fix. The tailor of course did the fix , what I attempted at was keeping her calm .

4.When the beautician is around . This is one part that can be tricky . Once the beautician takes up the responsibility to dress up the bride , they don't quite like interference or opinions. But still she is your bestie and you will have to interfere!! So , pay attention to what is being done and if you don't quite like something suggest as pleasantly as possible if something needs to be changed. Better still if you can take her for a trial make up and hair styling session .

5.Her family . They already are burdened with loads of work . If you can, share their responsibilities., but remember your main responsibility is to be besides your friend. So don't commit yourself to any task  that would require you keeping away from her for long.

6.Common Friends. The easiest of the lot of guests. You know them. They know you. But problem doesn't end here. At times they just go senseless enough to trouble the bride with really small issues like the route to her house when she is getting her bridal make up done. So , that's when you get into action , attending her calls and helping people out with such details.

7. Her friends .  A little tougher part. She had friends you don't know very well. But still it's your responsibility to help them out and see to it that the bride has the lease possible straining to do to accommodate her friends.

8. Stuffs, especially the ones most likely to be missed out , like the mobile phone charger, her toiletries , and other things to be packed is your prime responsibility . I did not myself fare well in this area though . It has hard to get everything packed and carried to the wedding hall but making mental notes helps.

9.The miss fix it all. That is exactly what you should be when the ceremonies are on . Expect her hair to get ruffled , jewellery to fall off , saree to need all adjustments any minute during the ceremony . And the sweat that runs out her make up , which needs to be carefully wiped off every few minutes. Be there with a few safety pins , hair pins and handkerchiefs ready . You never know when you need any or all of these .

10.Last minute deals. Change is inevitable and can happen to even a perfectly chalked out plan . Worst when it happens at the last minute. The bride is a bundle of nerves on the big day . Don't expect her to react well to such last minute hassles. You better be extra composed and calm and help her steady her nerves too.

11.The pep talk . Brides need it a lot . Excitement and fear of not knowing what to expect always makes her an emotional mess. Just keep her happy . Keep her in good spirits and hear out her worries if she has any . No one can do it better than you , after all you are her best friend !

At the end of the day not everything would be perfect . You might make lots of mistakes.But trying and helping make your bestie's big day wonderful should be your focus.The effort and heart you put in would matter a lot to your friend and your friendship .

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Being Married

    My best friend is getting married. And I am absolutely excited about it. Another friend of mine asked me today if it was a "Love Marriage or an Arranged Marriage".  The couple in discussion here met through their families. They made the decision of getting married keeping their entire family in loop . So , technically it is an 'Arranged Marriage' .

    I would never personally come to terms with people deciding to spend their whole lives with someone after one or two meetings. My intuition isn't that strong probably . However , I wish my friend and all those who have such marriages be blissfully happy .

     Getting married is all I have always wanted . Ever since I was a little girl . Now that I am married and married for over a year now , I wonder at times if all the anticipation and excitement was worth it . We have lows in our life .We have lows in our married life . Lows in life doesn't bother us. We always bounce back . But lows in married life shakes us , the married woman , a bit . That's what got me wondering .

   May be because all the stories mom told you, all the books you read , all the movies you have seen , depicted hardships in life and problems in love life. However ,most of them invariably ended with a ,' And they lived happily ever after' line.  But none gave a detailed account of what happens during that ever after . All the efforts you take to make the ever after happy was probably consciously omitted.


      Lots of factor contribute to  how we respond to lows in our life. Lots of factor contribute to how we respond to the lows in our married life. The biggest being you are still adapting to the fact that you are not your dad's princess anymore .Being a girl friend is relatively easier. (I can vouch for that) You just concentrate on yourself ,your partner and where to go for the date . But when you are married , you are everything you have always seen your mother being . And that definitely is some hard work.

    At times things seem to overwhelm . Most of my recently married friends and I have this discussion of how drastic a change marriage has been. But then only those who adapt survive , so that is the only way forward.

   Determination to be happy and being happy with the one person you are married to is probably the foundation to every happy marriage. Does the trick for me always .
 
   A revelation I had recently was that people can't get into your head !! Yep !! No one knows what you are thinking but you. The bunch of no ones includes your spouse too. So right , he doesn't know what you expect of him unless you let him know. Makes things a whole less complicated when you just tell him that you want him to help you instead of getting all frustrated about his not caring enough!!!

   And needless to say sharing your frustrations with your besties goes a long way in keeping you composed.

    Everyday is a new day . If something went wrong yesterday , you always have today . If today isn't enough you will have a tomorrow to fix things . Living and loving matters . Not necessary that you do it perfectly . Just give your best . Because your best is always good  enough .