Is it a new beginning or is it d pavement to a newer and stronger disappointment???

A new thing has come my way.......

The anna univ rank list is published.... my rank 179.......

still loads of confusion... no clear idea if its dept wise or as a whole.......

And so yet again i m confused as to whether its a new ray oh hope or a new disappointmen.............

I Gave my BEST

I know dey were not better than me. i believe dey still are not better than me... but den why is my life in a lurch whilst dere's on top of d world..........

I hv always taken my best shot at life. always did d best I could.. but still He never thot i was deserving.....

In dat case the saying" you may not get wat u desire but u wud always get wat u deserve " doesnt hold true for me.........

N den miracles........ i believe in dem bcoz i hv seen ppl hving dem in dere lives... a sudden, unexpected transformation.. but y don i get a taste of it sum day????????? y does my life always changes for d worst??????????

Y M I D 'doomed'???????

ever since i remember i hv had unexpected misfortunes, d wildest mishaps, d rarest troubles n God knows wat all...

N as far as i know i m not a sinner of d highest caliber bcoz according to my mom's teachings God punishes only d 'sinners'... n i m kinda gud gal.. i try my maxim not to fight vth mom , i try n obey mom vth d minimal frowning, i don trouble my brothers a lot n oblige dem vth d remote or computer most of d tyms... ok.. atl east sum of d tyms... but still i hv nthng gng right for me...

Every decision i tk is d wrong one... every tym i choose one path over d other i go fall strght into d ditch... but den i don hv d luxury of exotic choices either.. its like choose between d devil n d sea!!!

I m but inclined to think tat i m doomed.......... hope God jst sees d nice gud gal in me soon n saves me frm becoming one big loser...

finally... i got my blog ....

I don know how or wen i started fancying d idea of hvng my blog bcoz i m not d type who goes around expressing d deepest of my thots but den i believe its tym tat i unbottle all my compressed emotions , share dem atleast vth myself, throw away d superficial " I am brave " look and face my deepest n darkest fear n finally defeat dem....